So y’all know I’m liek this cool guy who finds the time to write about funny things in funny words about funny people and probably imagine I’m this Herculean guy straight out of Mount Olympus.

OR

You all think that I’m a geek with glasses sitting infront of the pc thinking up jokes all day and ripping off a few.
I left my glasses 200 miles away.

You’re not far from the truth, my friends with benefits. Great benefits as one might say

Yeah, I was thinking about getting a proper job that pays, not a job which involves owning a website and getting ripped off by Google Ads. Yes, Google ads, may you Gurgle in your own Google and get your Doogle cut off by a raging bull in a Spanish gay parade featuring Freddy Mercury.
I was getting ready to write my CV and everything. I don’t even know what it stands for… Clitoral Vagina? Club Vodka? Cunt’s Veterinary? Nevermind that.
When I went on to write about the “Experiences” section, I used common sense. Yes, I indeed have one. I knew it had nothing to do with my switchblade experiences with women. So, I thought “Hmmm.”

I put in this.

Experienced about educating unknown people anonymously about the current world situation – 1 year Experienced about debating against women, females, girls, more females and a handful of black people talking very fast and loud over music.

And then I lost interest and decided to write this.

I look like something out of Indiafail, Emofail, Rapfail and Nazism put together in a blender with a dash of Paris Hilton’s sex appeal. Illustrated below

My life was filled with addictions ever since I descended the Holy Earth as an Unspeakable out of a bleeding and messy Unspoken.

Infancy: MOAR FOOD! MOAR FOOOD GODDAMN MOAAAAAAAAR FOOOOOOOOOD/piss/eat/shit

Childhood. BATTERIES FOR MY REMOTE CONTROL CAR, BATTERIES RAGETANTRUMKILLAJEW

That Cool 10 year old phase where you wear colourful tshirts and never caught dead wearing anything that goes below your calves: MOAR GAMES MOAR GAMEZ FOR MY PC MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR/nogirlsplz

Early Teens: OMG CHICKS! OMGHF I UNCOVERED A GOLD MINE!

Late-Early Teens: OMG ALL CHICKS ARE LESBO! THEY DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME! LESBOCHICKZ HOMOSEXUALITY! NEEDZ MOAR FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

Mid-Teens: …Dudeeeee. I’m on cloud nine. Can’t get any higher than this ^_^

And my current addiction is finding the musical talent of The Jonas Brothers or Justin Bieber. Just a question, is it Bee-Ber or Buy-Ber?
Buy Beer? Sure

My future plans include living inside a shack high up a mountain, putting green food colour on myself and planning to ruin other people’s festivities with my Greenity Unity and lots of green stuff… Don’t question about the smoke coming out of the chimney in my shack. It is the kettle.

My musical tastes include lots of.. Nevermind, half of you reading this knows I listen to Avril Lavigne. http://last.FM/user/TehGoatLord <– Avril’s there

I have a definite affinity towards poetry and songwriting..

Little red Jew riding over a tree
Little pink Nazi gliding on a Panzer with glee
Meets in Mein Kampf with me
Both of them goes baking
I can smell a Jew in the making
Oh the smell of the Semitic swell
Oh Joy, Oh Joy, in Auschwitz to dwell.
We catch another Jew as it jumps
Towards the coin that fell.
May we have lots of niggers left
When there’s not even a single one left of the Jew.
But Goddamn Commies, Stalin and his crew.

As you can see my best work which failed to attract any publishers due to wrong timing.

Okay, I ran out of things to say about myself.

Heil Manchester United.
Ziege Heil.